My Riding Buddy, the bastard that moved to MKE (all jokes except for the moving part), did give me money in payment toward the loan I gave him. I am very pleased. I honestly was feeling pretty stressed the past few months as there was less and less contact. It's hard when you start to lose contact with a friend. I know many of my friends have said the same of me as I've struggled with the death of my dad and the loss of my daughter in my life.

So, we sat and talked for several hours. I feel bad that he didn't actually leave for MKE until 5:30 -- a six hour drive. We even talked for a few of those driving hours. Just as he was about 20 minutes from home -- oh, yes, he could see the light at the end of the tunnel -- he gets a call to help out at work. I got a call around 5:45 a.m. this morning that he was *finally* going home. But, guess what? He needed to be back at work somewhere around 9 or 10 a.m. I forget the actual time he said, I was half-asleep. Heck, I think he was half-asleep the short drive home.

Anyyyyyyway, we are planning to do a bike trip this October - the weekend of the Twins last game of the season, last home stand, and last game in the Dome. Riding Buddy doesn't have a bike presently (I mentioned he totalled his rocket last June), but will be selling his truck, paying me off, and buying a bike with the remainder. I'm really excited for him! He's going to look at a cruiser - damn, I love rockets! - which he believes will keep him on the straight-n-narrow. Uh-huh. It's not the bike, Riding Buddy, it's the rider. But, I digress. If he can't buy a bike, then he'll be driving over here and we'll take my Aero. Our plan is to go straight in one direction (N-S-E-W) for one day, stay the night, and then take a roundy-bowt route back. I'm really excited! He's also already trying to guilt a coworker into joining. The guilt trip is because the coworker complained that "Duluth is cold in October." Yeah, we know. We live in the vicinity. Of course, I couldn't resist the Golden Opportunity to test this guy's riding commitment. I told him that he's a baby, a whiner, asked him if he wants to be a rider, and, finally, to suck it up, Barbie!

I'm anxious to have something so fun to look forward to. It is important to have things to look forward to. Things that make you smile - not only everyday, but also when you look backward and forward.

Would you believe that when I told The Hubby the plan, he didn't even respond other than to say, "uh huh." Still, that's a whole world away from, "No, you can't go."

Later gaters and fellow Bike Riding comrades!

This has turned out to be more than an a "see you in a week" post!

Since my last post, my hand/wrist went down hill and FAST. I've had my next hand/wrist surgery, No. #2 Daughter has nixed me from her life (I can't tell you just how painful that announcement was), No. #1 Son lost his job and got another, and Kahteryna broke a molar that Dr. Jon had to remove in a hurry. Whew. What a few weeks it's been.

So, to start out, I am no longer The Semi-Bionic Biker Chick. I actually enjoyed that moniker I'd made for myself. Guess I will have to go into my TCMC (http://www.twincitiesmotorcycleclub.com/) profile and change that. Damn, it was cute. I don't think I can call myself The Former Semi-Bionic Biker Chick. Just doesn't have the same funny bend to it. At any rate, all of the metal in my arm/wrist has been removed. Two days after surgery, I'm not kidding, I was back in aggressive PT to get functionality back to Franken Arm that had been lost previously. Another positive sign that changing doctors was spot on. I am not allowed to tussle, wrestle, chop wood, do cartwheels, and most importantly, *not fall* for at least six weeks so that the now present open screw holes in my radius and ulna heal. After that - what - all bets off? I know, that's not funny. But, it is funny!!!

My MKE friend and former riding buddy came to town this weekend. He needs to give me some money to pay back my loan to him after *he* had a motorcycle crash last June and was unable to work for a couple of months. He was trying desperately to get me to relinquish either of my bikes for his riding purposes (he wasn't able to replace the bike he totalled). Under normal circumstances I would, but I told him that I'm not allowed to fall - which means that I don't want to be unstable. He, of course, pulled the "Don't you trust me?" line. "Of course, I do," I replied, "but if I can't ride my bikes, you sure as hell isn't going to!"

Next spring, I'm going to be riding all over the place. Who knows, if I really get things going really great, maybe, just maybe, I can get back on the Aero before the end of this season. It's not realistic, but I'm optimistic. I still think The Hubby is opposed to my riding, especially since he's not going to be able to join this love of mine - and he's certainly not willing to do creative finger nail designs on his own hands -- but I can see that he struggles to keep his opinion to himself. If he'd been successful in his biking, I think he'd feel differently. I did push him on fixing the Drifter, but he seems opposed. I don't want to be pushed into fixing it myself, but who knows. It's too gorgeous of a bike to just let sit -- and it's a fabulous ride OMG!

So, The Hubby is out golfing in the gorgeous weather we have today and I'm waiting to hear from my MKE buddy so that I can see him off (and get money!!) on his way back to MKE. That will be sad. It's always sad to see him go because he's a ton of fun and he was my first Riding Buddy. In the meantime, I've been sitting here trying to work (got to bill hours!), but my network connections at work are all disconnected making it impossible to get my work done. Sheesh. I guess, though, that gave me the opportunity to get this update done. Not too shabby after all, eh? Off I go - hopefully the network will be repaired soon and it's time for me to do my exercises.

Take care all and I'll see you soon :o)

Cutting the string ...

I guess my "Come to Jesus" meeting really worked on #2 Daughter. I called the school on the 28th to see if she'd done what she needed to do. I asked for some "good news." Nancy, the secretary, told me that I'd be *very* happy with the news she was about to share: not only had #2 Daughter completed all of her detention and paid her fines, she'd even completed the past due assignments that she wasn't going to get credit for anyway. I was already sitting, because I was preparing for the possibility of getting bad news, but now I was about to start crying. She did it. Every single thing she needed to do - she got it done in the last month. She came in before school and stayed after every day. I felt proud. Nancy told me that #2 Daughter won't admit it, at least not now, but I have an effect on her and it's good.

I called on my sister to gather her brood and attend graduation ceremonies to impart our love to #2 Daughter. I figured that even though she gives all appearances of utter contempt toward me, I want her to know that I was there. I think that, years from now, she'll remember that I was there and that I've loved her every single day. I think that's important for her to know. How many people are going to love her her entire life? I don't think that at 18 she realizes just how few that number will be.

So, we attended graduation ceremonies and The Hubby was really crabby. I even told him that I was having a very hard time liking him right then. I hadn't been able to ride in over a week, so it's not like I'd been able to go do fun stuff that I really like. I know he didn't want to be there and doesn't feel the need to support her. That was part of what made me angry and really sad. Down the other side of the gymnasium, the Sperm Donor (ex-husband; biological father - you get the idea) sat with his parents. Sperm Donor doesn't look all that great after all these years. Too bad, so sad. {There's all this sudden venom spewing from me, sorry folks! Comes from too many years of being with him and fighting to get away with my kids.}

The ceremony was a bit corny and I think that the kids really enjoyed certain parts. Once completed I watched as #2 Daughter practically ran for the door instead of joining in the recessional. My sister asked permission to try to find her. I told her to go for it because #2 Daughter isn't going to be sticking around to talk to me, that's for sure! Well, after wondering around our very small high school for about 35 minutes, down the sidewalk comes my sister with #2 Daughter in tow. How about that! I almost started crying again -- she has no idea how much I love her. So, I took several pictures of #2 Daughter with my sister and her brood. I asked for a picture of her with her cap and gown on. After a fuss, she agreed and I even took a picture of her diploma. YES - she got it and I have proof. I was again feeling very proud. I asked to have a picture with her and my sister begged her to do it "for her." I got pissed and said that the picture was for *me* and, well, that didn't go over well even though it was the truth. After that things just didn't go well because #2 Daughter put on the I have a disgusting, evil mother bit for everyone. I decided it was better for me to leave too and so I did.

My sister and brood came back to our house and we did a mini tour of the chaos that is our house in construction mode. It was funny and embarrassing. After about an hour, everyone headed out and it was quiet again. You know what, I ended the day smiling and laughing even though it seemed like the day after my birthday it would be a rotten day.

Now, officially, I'm a year older - and more years than most people think, which I think is funny and quite enjoyable. I'm getting going in my PT, working hard to make my quota at work, rediscovering my husband and his new outlook on life and marriage, and wondering how my riding is going to shake out. Oh, I'm also getting many doses of laughs from my Twitter pals. You have to take your laughs where you can get them!!

See everyone in about a week or so.

Believe it or not ...

It's been quite some time since I set this little blog up. Here I am. I've had a really bad few months. We found #2 Daughter - just a week before Christmas. That Saturday, I had a "play" date with my nieces to take them shopping for Christmas. The nieces are old enough now that buying anything really seems silly when they just want to spend money. So, I told them how much money they had to spend and we had a good time. It was weird though because #2 Daughter had only been home for two days and, so, she was brought with. I wasn't going to leave this young woman, who was clearly a stranger to me now, alone in my house. Sorry folks, that's the way it is. Anyway, I bought her a hat and a "hoodie" which she seemed to appreciate. It was weird. She'd been gone for nearly six months.

She turned 18 in January, which I'd been warned was the turning point and she would be moving back to her biological father. What a kick in the ass to her dad (who adopted her), my husband. She didn't move, turns out. He didn't have the resources to move locally (thank god!!!) and we certainly weren't willing to cart her to his city. You have to set some boundaries hard-n-fast.

So, about a month ago, she left again. This time, some very dear friends of mine showed up to my door about four minutes after I got home (I'd seen them parked up the street). They announced that #2 Daughter would be moving in with them. I asked them if they knew what they were getting into - they are my age and have never had children, or nieces/nephews from what I've been told in the six years I've known them. No, they didn't. Well then.

Last week I received a letter from the school that #2 Daughter might not graduate if she doesn't pass an elective class. OK, an elective class. I went over to friends' house to talk to #2 Daughter and found out that I was being "supervised" by my friends. I guess I no longer consider these people to be my friends. I didn't think that my daughter could manipulate people that'd been watching her goings on for the last six years. I was very, very wrong.

So, I'm writing in here now to kind of work on getting myself back to where I belong. My marriage and #1 Son have definitely suffered through all of this, not to mention the grief from my father's death last June.

I'm back on my bike - so that's a plus. It's hard work, but it makes me happy -- and still a little scared. I think a dose of healthy fear is good for me (or anyone, for that matter) anyway. I'm also working on being a better mom, friend, and employee. The whole wife part is coming. It's hard to get reoriented to a marriage that was damaged from numerous misdeeds. I don't know if it's possible, frankly. I think I have to just very slowly allow myself to be open again. I think that's what love is all about -- letting go of your safety net. When you get hurt, you restring your safety net and pull yourself into it blocking yourself away.

That's it for now. I'll try to keep myself going on this because it is therapeutic :o)