Well, it's been months, literally, since I last posted. The single reason is that I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Both breasts and the lymph nodes in my right arm pit, neck, and central-chest area as well as pockets in the chest cavity. Enough cancer that doing surgery prior to chemo would have been fruitless. I'm staged at IIIC, although I see several sites that only go from IIIB to IV -- which would put me at a IV. Either way, it's not good and has not been good.
I've completed the first round of chemo in hopes of reducing or killing the cancer. The first round lasted eight weeks and was correctly called "The Red Devil." No one can prepare you for how you're body is going to react to the poison. Some have barely a reaction; some feel like death is pounding on the door. I was much closer to the second. It was horrid. Amazing pain. The works. If you want to have your spirit tested, and mine certainly was, I have a suggestion for you. I wouldn't recommend the cancer part, though that is probably a primary ingredient for the test, eh?
I'm now in my second round of chemo, which lasts for 12 weeks. Depending on when I get my next PET scan, I'll be done the first-third week of March. The side effects from Taxol aren't nearly as bad as The Red Devil. I'm seriously tired and still get body aches. I've also developed acid reflux which caused the lining of my esophagus to shed. That was unbelievably painful! My plan is that that symptom will resolve itself with the completion of chemo.
Joe, The Hubby, has been amazing. Andreas, #1 Son, had a hard time, but he's been terrific in helping me get to appointments and keep a sense of humor while making sure that no question is overlooked. We've had some very serious talks over the last few months. We try to laugh a lot. It helps more than you can know. I have taken very funny pictures of my head, which is completely bald. Joe doesn't think those pictures are nearly as funny as I do. What do you do?! Gotta get a laugh anywhere you can and I certainly can laugh at myself - even now.
Come March the surgeries really begin. I'm looking at a double-mastectomy, right ophrectomy, as well as the removal of whatever lymph nodes remain cancerous. I'm hopeful and keep telling everyone that MY PLAN is that the cancer will be gone. A miraculous recovery. I'm game!
More realistically, I'll start the process of getting my New Boobies and the long, continuing process of fighting, recovery, and radiation. Along the way, I've been trying to be a much better friend and communicator. I even set up a Facebook page. Shocked? I know! I am working on my hobby (fingernail design/painting, etc.) and trying to get pleasure from that. It's hard to work, but I have to in order to keep income coming in. Unfortunately, this didn't help my depression one single bit and I suppose, naturally, it wouldn't.
I did get to ride two-three times during The Red Devil days. I took pictures as proof because it was unbelievable that I could do it. Now, keep in mind that my rides were just around here where it's 25 mph. I did have one ride to see Joe for lunch and it was something like 32 degrees. It was fantastic.
I'm looking forward to spring. Things will be changing for the better - I know it! and I'll be trying to get some rides in as much as I can before and between surgeries.
I guess that's it for me. For now. I feel all updated and comfy in my little place in the world. Turns out that that's a pretty easy thing to do.
