Everyday is checked off

It does seem that years go by between my posts. Odd ...

Yesterday I was told that i am one of 57 cousins from nine aunts and two uncles. I knew it was over 40, but not the exact number. Impressive. When I was young, say 12 and younger, my family, aunts, uncles, and cousins got together at very large family gatherings at least twice a year. It was superb! I have not such a wonderful gathering of family since. Feeling that loss feels big to me.

The main reason that I was with my uncle yesterday was because I learned that my Grandma had been hospitalized. I guess she'd been in the hospital for a couple of days already. My mother hadn't even called me and she'd been to the hospital on Sunday. This is not the first time that my mother has not called me to tell me about some family gathering or emergency. My first clue was my cousin's Facebook post that her Grandma was in the hospital. I called my mother to ask which of my cousin's Grandmas was hospitalized. My mother very casually stated that it was ours. C'mon! It's really very insensitive of her. I drove to my mother's place and, along with my uncle and aunt, went to see Grandma.

Grandma has had a major stroke that has affected the lower left side of her brain as well as her visual and speech areas. She'll be 91 on the 16th of next month. Her sister died two months ago at 92. That left Grandma as the last surviving member of her family. Several of the aunts and I have pondered that Grandma's sister's death may have precipitated her sudden decline and this stroke. There may have been a small stroke a day or two prior to this major stroke. The doctor explained in detail the course of events leading to and after the stroke. I really appreciated that! It is very, very unlikely that Grandma will ever be able to go home, even if she has care. My uncle did a great deal of research to find suitable arrangements so that Grandma will get excellent care, therapy, and be centrally accessible to all him and his sisters. I'm pleased with the locations he's chosen so far because they are close to me. Right now, it's a two hour drive. It is incredibly sad to see a wonderful, severely, adamantly, independent woman. Grandpa died when I was just a young child and Grandma still had to support at least three of the youngest aunts and uncle. She never dated and did it on her own.

It occurred to me that I'd better get working on her will. I have her draft of what she wants, but the complications with so many children and how she wants her hoard of stuff to go is just ... I don't know how it's going to work. Right now it's set up that the eldest (now my mother) pick one [fill in the blank], next eldest, etc. She has a number of George Foreman Grills and other smaller appliances that she wants to be given in what she considers to be an organized manner. Thing is, with that many children and where everyone lives, it's just going to be a circus. I can only hope for the best. I better get that will done so that she can knowledgeably sign it before witnesses.

Being a Grandma, myself, has been fun, challenging, and a real trial of my capacity for patience. The patience I speak of is for No. 1 Son and his girl friend, who is the mother of their two children. So I have a No. 1 Grandson (2 1/2) and a No. 2 Granddaughter (15 mos). I love my Grandchildren and have been put in the situation of having to care for them in my home for the last three and a half months because they were taken from No. 1 Son and his girl friend. My Grandchildren were severely neglected. No. 1 Grandson has been evaluated and is more than 12 mos delayed while No. 2. Granddaughter is at least eight mos delayed. Makes me furious. That kind of neglect is NOT accidental. Online gaming was, and I believe still is, too important to No. 1 Son's girl friend.

I have loved spending time singing so that they both hear the words and tune. Before too long, No. 1 Grandson was actually clapping to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Within a couple of days, he was making sounds while I was singing. Three months later and you can hear he's trying to say the words. He can now say a couple handful of words, not entirely clear, but he's coming along quickly. All he needed -- all he needed -- was interaction with his mom, since she's home all day, and No. 1 Son when he's home from work. The Court has now ordered them into ECFE classes, parental education, in-home education for the Grandchildren, and an in-home therapist who will tell them directly what they did to cause the severe delays their children are experiencing. It just makes me cry.

There are more songs that No. 1 Grandson loved: B-I-N-G-O, ABCs, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Knick-Knack-Paddy-Wack, 1-2 Buckle My Shoe, Home on the Range, Rubber Ducky (Ernie, Sesame Street), I Like Trash (Oscar the Grouch, Sesame Street), You are My Sunshine. I love playing with the Grandchildren. It's fantastic to see them develop and making advancements toward their appropriate age abilities. I believe they'll get there, but it won't happen if their mother simply leaves them alone while she plays games all day.

I think I'm filled with too much worry, stress, and anxiety. I have to make an appointment with the doc to discuss how I'm doing with the meds, my thought patterns, and treatments for chemo brain. I lost another job. I just don't know how to get my brain to work the way it used to!